Is life getting in the way?
I can't believe that it has been so long since I've posted anything to this blog! It's not that I didn't have anything to say... I've had plenty of experiences and stories to share. Frankly, I forgot I started this blog. In fact, many times in recent years, I've thought about starting this blog, forgetting that I already have. I am fond of saying, "Life gets in the way..." It so often does! We start living our lives, facing our daily challenges and accomplishments, and certain desires, habits, friends, relationships, etc., drift away. Maybe not completely away, but certainly not top of mind.
That too easily happens with our relationship with God. It's not that we don't have a relationship. It's not that we lose our faith or stop believing or even stop wanting a relationship with God. It's just that "life gets in the way." We might still be going to church, saying grace with every meal, saying our nightly prayers, etc. But are we really taking the time to listen to what God has to say about our lives? Are we surrendering our lives to God and allowing Him to work through them? Are we trusting Him with our difficulties instead of trying to wrestle them down ourselves? Are we spending our time anxious because we feel out of control instead of allowing ourselves to live in the peace of knowing He's in control? Are we walking around with our tail feathers on display because of all that we have accomplished, instead of recognizing that every blessing comes from Him?
A little over a year ago, my husband and I moved from Michigan to Kentucky to be near my step-daughter and her husband. My step-son still lives in Michigan, but he has hinted that once he graduates from college, he's headed out into the world. I'm not going to lie, getting away from Michigan winters was a big part of our decision to move, and we were looking to move south. But every time we considered a location further south (Florida, North Carolina, Tennessee, etc.), it always came back to how far away it would be from the kids. How long of a journey would it be for us to visit them or them to visit us... and how would that impact how often we we would actually get to see them?
We wanted to be able to see them frequently; and, should they ever have kids, we wanted to have a strong relationship with our grand-kids, much like Chris's mom and dad had with theirs. So, in the end, we ended up in Kentucky about 5 minutes away from Jenny and Brandon. Sam is nearly done with school, and we don't know where he'll end up. Kentucky seems no more likely than him staying in Michigan. He loves to travel, so it wouldn't surprise me if he ended up on the other side of the world. Hopefully, he'll never be so far away that we never get to see him, but we have to leave that in God's and Sam's hands. We were looking for a place to settle into retirement, and, this is where God led us.
What we left behind in Michigan were family, friends, and our church, which encompassed most of the first two items in this list. Our church had become a family. We even lived with our pastor and his wife, and considered them part of our family. This was also God-led, and He made all the provisions and pathways to enable us to live in that situation. Was it always easy living with another couple in a single family home? No, but it was always a blessing, even when those blessings seem challenging in coming. Most of the time, it was easy though. We loved them, they loved us, God was in the midst of our relationship, and a lot of grace was extended by everyone in that household. It taught us a lot about grace, forgiveness, love, caring for one another, lifting one another up, and holding one another accountable. A day didn't go by in that house that we weren't talking about how God was moving in our lives or seeing how God was moving in the lives of others. The faith we saw in our pastor and his wife when they faced challenging moments deepened our faith and gratitude.
As we made arrangements for our move to Kentucky, we knew were going to miss our church. We were a small, home church. Our meetings typically lasted for several hours and included a potluck meal, a dialog, prayer, and music (we were blessed that half of our 12 members were extremely talented musicians). Our pastor didn't preach, he led us in a dialog. Our Sunday meetings were often a deep-dive into scripture. And we also met for bible study on Wednesday evenings for 2 hours with an even deeper dive. We were very close to the people in our church and very involved in their lives and them in ours. It is no exaggeration to say that we knew that this would leave a hole in our lives when we moved.
I gave you that context to show you the stark difference in our lives the first few months in Kentucky. Until we found a house to purchase, we were living in a very small, very noisy apartment about 30 minutes away from Jenny and Brandon. With both of them working, we typically only saw them once or twice a week. We didn't know anyone else and didn't immediately look for a church because we were still in the act of settling in and figuring out just where we were going to live. We allowed ourselves to become a bit isolated. Even after we bought our house, we didn't immediately seek out a church because we were focused on getting moved in, getting unpacked, getting set up, etc.
And, there it is. Life got in the way. You don't realize how important being part of a church community is until you look up, months later, and realize that the loss of the community also made it really easy to lose the active relationship with God. I was still praying daily and feeling strong in my faith. But, I did notice a difference. I wasn't hearing God speaking into my life quite as much... which meant I wasn't listening. I wasn't clearly seeing His hand at work... which meant I wasn't looking. And it also meant that I wasn't surrendering. I was feeling more stressed and anxious... which meant I wasn't trusting. And all of that led to the realization that my relationship with God had moved from active to rote. I was going through the motions, but I wasn't actively turning my life over to God.
We found a church. Jenny suggested it based on a recommendation from a friend. We started going, and we found ourselves drawn in from the beginning. It was less intimate, but anything over about a dozen people is going to be less intimate. We weren't used to the songs, but they worship God and Jesus, so we got used to them. But the teaching was familiar from the beginning, and that is what drew us in. The teaching was deep and personal and didn't sugar coat the ways we were encouraged to look inward and honestly assess our relationship with Jesus. The teaching reminded us that our lives belong to Jesus and not ourselves, and that we are disciples charged with living life His way. There are so many times that our new pastor has used the same exact words and pointed to the same exact verses that our pastor in Michigan did.
You might think that is not significant. You might think that every church is going to say roughly the same things and draw from the same verses in the scripture. But that simply is not true. One of the things we loved about our church family is that it was no-nonsense approach to discipleship. "Religion" and dogma was stripped away to get to the heart of discipleship. Discipleship is not about having a happy life or an easy life. It's about serving God with our lives. He never promises us no suffering, but He does promise us that He will carry us through the suffering. He promises that He will never leave us and that He will use that suffering for the good of all. Not just the good of us, but the good of ALL. Living with abundance in the Kingdom of God does not mean we will be materially wealthy. It means that we will be rich in our relationship with God, rich in our love from Him and for others, and rich in the grace and forgiveness that He has so generously poured over us. Is it easy to follow Jesus? He says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). But Peter reminds us that we will suffer in His name, and we must endure that suffering (1 Peter 3-5).
Following Jesus means that we turn over our lives to Him. He carries our burdens, He has suffered more than we can imagine for our sake, and all He asks in return is that we say yes and bow our knee to Him. But that doesn't mean that doesn't come with challenges. And I'm not even talking about the world around us—the financial difficulties, the relationship difficulties, the health difficulties, the job difficulties, and whatever difficulties we face in our lives. I'm talking about the challenge we must face in our own will. The free will that God so generously gave us is the same will that fights with our desire to follow Him. We want to do things our way, not God's way, and that is a constant battle. Even as we surrender one area of our lives, we suddenly find ourselves holding on possessively to another area. Even when we're not conscious of the battle, "life gets in the way."
Too often, churches preach that when you surrender to God, all of this gets easy. I've heard it preached that your problems will disappear when you have enough faith. Still fighting illness? You didn't pray hard enough. Still drowning in debt? You didn't have enough faith. Homeless? Victim of crime? God must be punishing you for something. Drug-addicted? Tattooed? Gay? You're not welcome here.
But that is not the gospel that Jesus taught. Jesus taught us that we will have struggles in this life. He doesn't promise to take away our pain, our suffering, our struggles... in this life. He asks us to endure them in faith. And that faith will give us peace in and through and in spite of our circumstances. But it won't change our circumstances. Our faith is meant to change us, not our circumstances. Jesus taught us that everyone is welcome to His table. All you have to do is say yes to the invitation. It doesn't matter what you look like, what you believe today, what lifestyle you lead or who you love, God loves you, and He wants you to accept His invitation. Because His invitation is the way to peace in this life and hope in the ever after. There will be a day when the suffering ends, when the tears stop, and when the hate ends. And until then, He has us. We can trust Him. And in the trust, we find peace.
And that is what my church in Michigan taught. And that is what my church in Kentucky teaches. We are so blessed to have found this church. We are still figuring out ways to get more involved in the community, and I have recently begun volunteering. What I've found in the year that we've been going to church is that I once again began drawing closer to God, I once again started having an active relationship, and I once again allowed Him to begin speaking into my life. And as a result, I have seen him actively moving in my life. And that has been magnified to even greater level when I started volunteering.
Life happens, but it doesn't need to get in the way. When life happens, that's when we fall to our knees, thank God that He is there in our circumstances, thank Him for all the ways He is going to use that circumstance (and us), and then trust Him enough to turn it over to Him and leave our fear, anxiety, and desire at the foot of the throne and use the will that He gave us to choose Him.
That too easily happens with our relationship with God. It's not that we don't have a relationship. It's not that we lose our faith or stop believing or even stop wanting a relationship with God. It's just that "life gets in the way." We might still be going to church, saying grace with every meal, saying our nightly prayers, etc. But are we really taking the time to listen to what God has to say about our lives? Are we surrendering our lives to God and allowing Him to work through them? Are we trusting Him with our difficulties instead of trying to wrestle them down ourselves? Are we spending our time anxious because we feel out of control instead of allowing ourselves to live in the peace of knowing He's in control? Are we walking around with our tail feathers on display because of all that we have accomplished, instead of recognizing that every blessing comes from Him?
A little over a year ago, my husband and I moved from Michigan to Kentucky to be near my step-daughter and her husband. My step-son still lives in Michigan, but he has hinted that once he graduates from college, he's headed out into the world. I'm not going to lie, getting away from Michigan winters was a big part of our decision to move, and we were looking to move south. But every time we considered a location further south (Florida, North Carolina, Tennessee, etc.), it always came back to how far away it would be from the kids. How long of a journey would it be for us to visit them or them to visit us... and how would that impact how often we we would actually get to see them?
We wanted to be able to see them frequently; and, should they ever have kids, we wanted to have a strong relationship with our grand-kids, much like Chris's mom and dad had with theirs. So, in the end, we ended up in Kentucky about 5 minutes away from Jenny and Brandon. Sam is nearly done with school, and we don't know where he'll end up. Kentucky seems no more likely than him staying in Michigan. He loves to travel, so it wouldn't surprise me if he ended up on the other side of the world. Hopefully, he'll never be so far away that we never get to see him, but we have to leave that in God's and Sam's hands. We were looking for a place to settle into retirement, and, this is where God led us.
What we left behind in Michigan were family, friends, and our church, which encompassed most of the first two items in this list. Our church had become a family. We even lived with our pastor and his wife, and considered them part of our family. This was also God-led, and He made all the provisions and pathways to enable us to live in that situation. Was it always easy living with another couple in a single family home? No, but it was always a blessing, even when those blessings seem challenging in coming. Most of the time, it was easy though. We loved them, they loved us, God was in the midst of our relationship, and a lot of grace was extended by everyone in that household. It taught us a lot about grace, forgiveness, love, caring for one another, lifting one another up, and holding one another accountable. A day didn't go by in that house that we weren't talking about how God was moving in our lives or seeing how God was moving in the lives of others. The faith we saw in our pastor and his wife when they faced challenging moments deepened our faith and gratitude.
As we made arrangements for our move to Kentucky, we knew were going to miss our church. We were a small, home church. Our meetings typically lasted for several hours and included a potluck meal, a dialog, prayer, and music (we were blessed that half of our 12 members were extremely talented musicians). Our pastor didn't preach, he led us in a dialog. Our Sunday meetings were often a deep-dive into scripture. And we also met for bible study on Wednesday evenings for 2 hours with an even deeper dive. We were very close to the people in our church and very involved in their lives and them in ours. It is no exaggeration to say that we knew that this would leave a hole in our lives when we moved.
I gave you that context to show you the stark difference in our lives the first few months in Kentucky. Until we found a house to purchase, we were living in a very small, very noisy apartment about 30 minutes away from Jenny and Brandon. With both of them working, we typically only saw them once or twice a week. We didn't know anyone else and didn't immediately look for a church because we were still in the act of settling in and figuring out just where we were going to live. We allowed ourselves to become a bit isolated. Even after we bought our house, we didn't immediately seek out a church because we were focused on getting moved in, getting unpacked, getting set up, etc.
And, there it is. Life got in the way. You don't realize how important being part of a church community is until you look up, months later, and realize that the loss of the community also made it really easy to lose the active relationship with God. I was still praying daily and feeling strong in my faith. But, I did notice a difference. I wasn't hearing God speaking into my life quite as much... which meant I wasn't listening. I wasn't clearly seeing His hand at work... which meant I wasn't looking. And it also meant that I wasn't surrendering. I was feeling more stressed and anxious... which meant I wasn't trusting. And all of that led to the realization that my relationship with God had moved from active to rote. I was going through the motions, but I wasn't actively turning my life over to God.
We found a church. Jenny suggested it based on a recommendation from a friend. We started going, and we found ourselves drawn in from the beginning. It was less intimate, but anything over about a dozen people is going to be less intimate. We weren't used to the songs, but they worship God and Jesus, so we got used to them. But the teaching was familiar from the beginning, and that is what drew us in. The teaching was deep and personal and didn't sugar coat the ways we were encouraged to look inward and honestly assess our relationship with Jesus. The teaching reminded us that our lives belong to Jesus and not ourselves, and that we are disciples charged with living life His way. There are so many times that our new pastor has used the same exact words and pointed to the same exact verses that our pastor in Michigan did.
You might think that is not significant. You might think that every church is going to say roughly the same things and draw from the same verses in the scripture. But that simply is not true. One of the things we loved about our church family is that it was no-nonsense approach to discipleship. "Religion" and dogma was stripped away to get to the heart of discipleship. Discipleship is not about having a happy life or an easy life. It's about serving God with our lives. He never promises us no suffering, but He does promise us that He will carry us through the suffering. He promises that He will never leave us and that He will use that suffering for the good of all. Not just the good of us, but the good of ALL. Living with abundance in the Kingdom of God does not mean we will be materially wealthy. It means that we will be rich in our relationship with God, rich in our love from Him and for others, and rich in the grace and forgiveness that He has so generously poured over us. Is it easy to follow Jesus? He says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). But Peter reminds us that we will suffer in His name, and we must endure that suffering (1 Peter 3-5).
Following Jesus means that we turn over our lives to Him. He carries our burdens, He has suffered more than we can imagine for our sake, and all He asks in return is that we say yes and bow our knee to Him. But that doesn't mean that doesn't come with challenges. And I'm not even talking about the world around us—the financial difficulties, the relationship difficulties, the health difficulties, the job difficulties, and whatever difficulties we face in our lives. I'm talking about the challenge we must face in our own will. The free will that God so generously gave us is the same will that fights with our desire to follow Him. We want to do things our way, not God's way, and that is a constant battle. Even as we surrender one area of our lives, we suddenly find ourselves holding on possessively to another area. Even when we're not conscious of the battle, "life gets in the way."
Too often, churches preach that when you surrender to God, all of this gets easy. I've heard it preached that your problems will disappear when you have enough faith. Still fighting illness? You didn't pray hard enough. Still drowning in debt? You didn't have enough faith. Homeless? Victim of crime? God must be punishing you for something. Drug-addicted? Tattooed? Gay? You're not welcome here.
But that is not the gospel that Jesus taught. Jesus taught us that we will have struggles in this life. He doesn't promise to take away our pain, our suffering, our struggles... in this life. He asks us to endure them in faith. And that faith will give us peace in and through and in spite of our circumstances. But it won't change our circumstances. Our faith is meant to change us, not our circumstances. Jesus taught us that everyone is welcome to His table. All you have to do is say yes to the invitation. It doesn't matter what you look like, what you believe today, what lifestyle you lead or who you love, God loves you, and He wants you to accept His invitation. Because His invitation is the way to peace in this life and hope in the ever after. There will be a day when the suffering ends, when the tears stop, and when the hate ends. And until then, He has us. We can trust Him. And in the trust, we find peace.
And that is what my church in Michigan taught. And that is what my church in Kentucky teaches. We are so blessed to have found this church. We are still figuring out ways to get more involved in the community, and I have recently begun volunteering. What I've found in the year that we've been going to church is that I once again began drawing closer to God, I once again started having an active relationship, and I once again allowed Him to begin speaking into my life. And as a result, I have seen him actively moving in my life. And that has been magnified to even greater level when I started volunteering.
Life happens, but it doesn't need to get in the way. When life happens, that's when we fall to our knees, thank God that He is there in our circumstances, thank Him for all the ways He is going to use that circumstance (and us), and then trust Him enough to turn it over to Him and leave our fear, anxiety, and desire at the foot of the throne and use the will that He gave us to choose Him.
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